Dear Brian,
I am a 19 year old animation student and I'm having feelings for my computer ,hpcg10. Is this normal? It all started a couple of months ago when hpcg10 crashed. I've been helping her through it and we've become close. What should I do? Will my family accept hpcg10? Please Brian I need your help.
Desperate, Bournemouth.

BRIAN RESPONDS:
Dear Marcu..desperate, I know it's hard (no pun intended, honest) but I think it might me better if you moved on. Flesh and silicon have never really worked together (just look at Pamela Anderson). Find yourself a nice Austrian milk maid and settle down. You know I'm talking sense.

Dear Lorna,
I'm a computer animaton student and I'm told I have a big mouth. Is there anyway to make it smaller. I've considered plastic surgery. What do you think?
Loud, Bournemouth.

LORNA RESONDS:
Dear Lau..Loud, I think you might have misunderstood. Your friends were talking metaphorically, oops sorry a long word. I think they mean that you probably talk too much. I suggest a sock or possibly a shoe. that should do the trick.